Acknowledging the Truth & Being Empowered by it through Acceptance & Appreciation

“Every day, every moment, we make a choice of the lenses we see through. After we read the news or the daily tweetfest we can come away looking through a lens of negativity or even hopelessness. But when we spend time with people who are fired up and changing the world, our lens can be lighter, brighter, and full of potential.  The secret of people who want to make a positive impact? They are looking through the lens of joy” Amy Collette (author of The Gratitude Connection)

This can seem unachievable, even unreasonable at times. 
Not in the midst of what’s going on in our current reality, right? I mean, it’s the holiday season filled with spirit and joy. Yet how can we find even a moment to experience spirit and joy when we are holding on for dear life just to make it through the day. We are just trying to keep it all straight, checking off list after list: kids, work, holiday parties, school activities, shopping, family photos, Christmas cards, husband out of town, husband not around, no husband, husband on the couch. 

It’s overwhelming just writing this. 
But here is the reality. We get to choose what we do in each moment of each day. It may not seem like it, but we do. We also get to choose how we think about it too. Every day, we are faced with choosing whether to accept what is or resist and challenge it. Sometimes it is necessary to push through and grow, however other times, surrendering is what is needed to allow what is meant to be happen. Say what?

Yes, it’s not all just about pushing through. 
I know, no one ever told us this, right? No, instead many times its about the opposite of pushing through. It’s about acceptance, the act of releasing. This release, this surrendering actually gives space for joy to illuminate in our lives. By releasing an expectation we aren’t resigning to our wants, but taking notice of what our soul really needs in the moment. 

You see, when we resist and constantly feel the need to control the situation or create a schedule of chaos, our bodies react. We feel stressed and anxious. We feel overwhelmed and a slave to our schedule. By accepting, we are opening our mind to other possibilities. We are releasing the need to control every expectation. When we are fiercely holding on to what we think is supposed to happen in our lives, we find ourselves in a space of struggle and discontentment. And then we lose the appreciation of the moment because we are trying to live up to unrealistic expectations.

And this is understandable as it’s simply a product of our culture.
So of course we feel pressure. Our consuming culture demands that. And it’s counting on our guilt driving our paychecks. As you begin to claim your own choices in this and let go of the cultural expectations-it may feel scary-it may feel as though you will be rejected and/or unliked or that you aren’t doing it “right”. That is the very equation that keeps so many people acting from fear rather in alignment of what your soul is telling you. The movement into acceptance involves accepting your own value; your innate value; the value that comes from you being you—not you buying you.

These unrealistic expectations are a choice. 
No one is holding a gun to our head telling us we have to…
Decorate the house
Make cookies for the neighbors
Buy every family member, teacher, boss and their brother a gift
Attend every holiday event you receive an invitation
Clean the house from top to bottom
Attend each of the kids Christmas celebrations & activities
Send Christmas cards
Take the kids to see Santa
Hell, last year I learned that we didn’t even have to celebrate Christmas on Christmas day. Who knew Santa comes early (and late) as needed.

And What! Kids not getting to see Santa. 
Yes, we went from seeing 4 Santas and numerous lighting festivals one year, to no Santa and no lighting festival the next. Yup, not one Santa. And you know what, the kids didn’t say or miss a thing. Can you believe it, not one word? I had this story that we had to at least see one Santa and for sure celebrate the season with various festivities. So I was traveling from near to far running myself ragged trying to fill the air with Christmas spirit. And what happened when I let go of it? Well, the stores in my head that they would miss Santa, miss the spirit of Christmas. The stories in my head did not turn out to be true. 

These are all choices that we can be grateful to have. Because, lets face it, these are first world problems after all. However, they do create struggle and discomfort in our lives. They create our daily experiences and if we are having a hard time experiencing joy during the season of joy, we have options. We get to choose which experiences we want to have and which ones we want to let go. And just wait for what is on the other side of resistance… there is this new beautiful plan that we may have not ever realized or envisioned. But we have to loosen the reigns of control in order to learn the beautiful lesson of acceptance. When we surrender to other possibilities, other choices, we start to breathe again. We are no longer hijacked by the anxious grip of control. We start to see the joy in the moment.

So how do we even begin to accept what is, let go of expectations and surrender?

Start by identifying areas in your life causing frustration. The areas you desire to have control. 
Relationships: Husband, Children, Child, Boss, Mother, Friends
Career
Community
Body Image
Lack of Relationships
Day to Day Life
Parenting

Notice if you have resistance, resentment or judgement around any of these areas. Are they causing feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, stress in your body or mind? In a season of hope are you feeling hopeless?

Pause. 

Release your worries to the universe and God. 

Now ask yourself…

“What can I change about this?”

“What small step can take to make a change in this area of my life?”

Whatever I can’t change, release the desire to control and surrender by accepting, that person, place, to-do. 

Now imagine…

Letting go of each area, each worry, each concern as if it’s a balloon.

Watch it as it floats away into the sky far above.

As you watch it fly higher and higher, you feel lighter. 

The weight of control is lifted and the hands that once held on so tightly to it are now free to receive whatever is next. 

Once the balloon drifts out of sight, feel your worry and stress disappear with it. 

Breathe in with relief. 

Offer gratitude and appreciation to the lesson.

Continue to practice this expansion of acceptance, understanding that which is no longer serving your soul and letting go in order to make room for the love, joy and spark to shine once more. 

And why do I want to do this…
This isn’t an easy task as our perceived sense of control has a tight grip. However the peace that follows acceptance far outweighs the seductive illusion of control. 

 By allowing Acceptance into our lives, Appreciation expands. We start noticing the small wonders of the world that bring so much joy into each given moment. It frees us from the pain of struggle and allows for greater peace and joy to be experienced in our lives. We start looking for the joy in the moment. We awaken to the beauty of the experience rather than being enslaved to our to do lists and perceived expectations of life. We feel more hope, excitement and expansion in our lives amongst the chaos. We take back our lives, our stories and live from a place of love! 

So this holiday season may you practice Acceptance & Appreciation and find more joy in each and every moment!

May each day you live well!

XO Kristine