The Courage to Feel
Have you ever had that moment when things seem to be going your way… You feel you are attracting just what you are putting out into the universe, which, is so AMAZING… WOW…You feel great!…Then… POW…the wind is knocked out of you?
It feels as if that euphoric feeling of happiness is stunted and you are knocked to your knees in excruciating pain, discomfort & uncertainty. It feels hard to breath and your old, unconscious ways of dealing are knocking heavy at your door.
“What happened? It seemed to be going so well.”, you say to yourself. This experience is universal. For some, it’s a relationship that turns south unexpectedly. For others, it’s a financial situation that creates a hole in the bank account. Maybe it’s a health scare or simply something terribly uncomfortable. Whatever the circumstance- It’s an interruption of expectation- and it creates a strong feeling.
For me this time around, it was not one specific BIG thing, but a few mediocre things that stopped me in my tracks…dating again, financials and managing all the specifics to being a single mom. When I started to feel that discomfort, I wanted to disengage and retreat to my bed. I wanted to shut everyone and everything out. (This is also known as my most recent first choice reactive-survival pattern.) At the same time, I had the urge to just push through, stuffing and avoiding those feelings. (Let’s call this my childhood reactive-survival pattern). However, this second choice hadn’t worked for sometime now as I’ve been in the process of more allowing. Once I noticed the old programs yanking hard for my attention, I was able to wake up to what I really needed. I started down my path of tools to feel, deal, and heal because I new by facing the inner, I was creating lasting change for the outer.
These times can come out of nowhere and can steal your energy, visions, and momentum. This interruption of expectation creates an intense emotional reaction. And you are left to unconsciously react by doing what you are most used to doing (your reactive-survival pattern of choice)…
Maybe it looks something like this…(sprinkled with some very mean inner self-talk)
1.Put on your boots and armor and head out for war with your head down and fists up (Fight)
2.disengage and retreat (Flight)
3.Stand mobilized and confused not knowing which way is up or down (Freeze)
These are also known as the fight, flight or freeze response…These are all common reactions when there is a perceived harmful threat. It’s how our brains have been wired since the beginning of time.
However, it is in these moments that COURAGE is our greatest friend.
Courage allows us the opportunity to take a look at what’s really going on inside the mind and body. Courage allows us to open up to finding the causes of our pain within ourselves, rather than just focusing on the external perception or blame. Once we have that awareness then courage is needed once again to allow ourselves to feel and experience the emotions playing out.
By doing this, we allow room for lasting growth, change and happiness to occur. We actually train ourselves to have new choices in how we react and behave.
So how do you do that? How do you create the courage to process the emotions?
To start…we must know that an emotion is a physical sensation in our body experienced as a strong feeling. And no one has died from an emotion. So this is great news. If we can’t die from an emotion then we must be able to feel it, right?
Yes! We begin to connect to our breath and ask ourselves…“What physical sensations am I feeling?” “Where am I feeling it?” “Is it hard, soft, hot, cold?” “Does it take up a lot of space in the body or is it gathered in one specific area?” “What is the intention of this emotion?” What does it mean?” “Is it anger? Is it fear?”
With courage we are able to meet that emotional place rather than avoid or distract or numb. Once we are able to name the appropriate emotion, we start to calm the brain and the body and lesson the hold on the emotion. This opens the door to processing the emotion so we can let it go rather than allowing it to steal our energy and overall sense of self. It allows space for us to choose other options that might help in the moment.
So courage allows us to live empowered. To know that we can handle any situation. Courage teaches us that there is no emotion too strong for us to manage. We all have courage and can use it whenever we choose. This is beautiful to know. This is the heart of living an empowered life. This is what gets me through every day. Knowing I can feel any emotion and still be OK.
As you go through each day, I want you to know you can do it! You can feel your life! You can handle any emotion and survive it! You can thrive from it! Don’t let that emotion take you down! Don’t let it lead you down a road of living in fear because love is right around the corner if you can hold in courage for just a moment. Don’t avoid your feelings or numb them. Welcome them one at a time. Get curious to know yourself. There is a life of true passion, purpose, love and joy for you. Allow yourself to show up and feel all the feels. You’ve got this! We’ve got this!
Love you! Kristine