How Kindness & Compassion Can Look on Social Media

Are you kind to others? Do you show compassion to others?
Are you kind to yourself? Do you show self compassion?

A common thread in many of my clients is the need to speak harshly to themselves. Or if they are not speaking harshly to themselves, they are speaking harshly toward others. Can you relate? 

We aren’t judging here. We are simply taking notice and practicing the art of listening. Listening to those “automatic” responses generated by the amygdala, the part of our brain which is always working to protect us from pain and/or perceived lack. We are becoming the observer of the common and reactive thoughts that are constantly gathering in our minds. And hopefully when we are able to create that space to observe our thinking, we allow for more space to act with our natures kindness to ourselves and to others. 

So you might ask, how does this show up on social media?

Well, let’s take a look at how you show up on social media…
Think about the time you were last on facebook/instagram. And take a moment to become of the observer of your mind. Notice what you said, how you thought to yourself as you scroll through to notice that “one mom, friend, family member, coworker” post…
Another vacation
Another workout
Another social event
Another pic of she and her kids doing crafts
Another pic of she and her dog
Another business venture
Another man
Another, Another, Another

Notice…

Maybe you notice a response/thoughts toward her like…
“What’s so important about her?”
“Why does she think she need to be so extreme with the workouts and show us every inch of her body?” “Does she really need to post every picture of her dog, her selfie, her body, what she is eating, crafting, you name it.
“Man, She is always going out, does she ever spend time with her kids”
“Oh please gag me that she wrote those fluffy, loving words about her husband. I mean really he is laying right next to her, just say it to him, the whole world doesn’t need to know”

For you, here is what may be happening inside your beautiful mind. 
We say these things about others because we are uncomfortable with some aspect of ourselves or some aspect of our personal life where we are feeling a sense of lack. Maybe we aren’t working out and feeling a little fluffy right now. Or maybe our lives are a little ho humdrum. Or we wish we had more times with friends, more time or money to travel, to decorate, to eat. Maybe we wish we had a partner we could ooh and gooh with? Maybe we wish our partner would talk to us like that? Maybe we wish we were creative enough or had enough energy to do crafts like that with our kids. 

These automatic responses start taking shape from a sense of lack and of scarcity. “If she has it, then I can’t.” “There is only so much to go around” “We can’t all be happy, crafty, rich, famous, lovable and a world traveler.

Here is the encouraging news…there are 7.7 billion humans, 900 million dogs & $5 trillion in the world. That mom isn’t the only one to have the dog, the friend, the body, the man, the money, the kid time, the creative bone, the means to travel. Just because she is happy doesn’t mean we all can’t be happy. She didn’t steal the sunshine either. There is enough sunshine to spread across the entire world. There is more than enough for all of us. 

Now does any of these sound familiar?

Or maybe your response/thoughts are toward yourself…
I don’t have the husband, the child, the friends, the work, the money. What’s wrong with me? Here the automatic response and patterns in our brain our running wild focused on the lack, the judgement and scarcity of yourself. You might say things like…
“I’m never good enough”
“I will never make that kind of money”
“I’m supposed to have that success and I don’t”
“My husband and I don’t have that kind of relationship, whats wrong with us.”
“I will never find a husband”
“I will never have a family”
“I will never get to take a trip like that”

Again, the thought that because “She” has it, I can’t have it.

Or maybe your response/thoughts are toward yourself & toward others but in a different light… 
“Wow, she has great family and I do to and I can to.
“Wow, what an amazing trip, maybe someday I can take a trip like that”
“Look she was alone once and she found someone great, I will too, I can too”
“I’m so happy that they have reached that kind of success and so can I”

So can you relate to any of these? Or maybe you notice some intense reactions and feelings to this blog.

So then Now what do you do. 
These thoughts and feelings are happening within our minds whether we are aware of it or not. Our automatic thought patterns are constantly running creating feelings and emotions on an ongoing basis.. Once we take a moment to pause and take notice we can start to bring more kindness and compassion to ourselves, to others and in the technology driven world. 

We get curious with the thoughts that have taken up shop in our minds and we start to question…are these thoughts in our best interest? Are they even true? Are they serving me? Or are they just wreaking havic? And yes, we start the process of creating intentional thoughts that bring about the desired results we want in our lives. We choose, on purpose, a new way to experience ourselves and eachother and the way we show up and participate on social media. A way that brings more kindness, more compassion and abundance to all of us.

Each of us has the ability to be, do and have the experience we so desperately desire. 
The more self awareness we have as moms, the more awareness we have on social media, the more we can empower our kids as they build a relationship with themselves, others and technology. 

We can create any result we want by bringing more awareness to what thoughts and feelings are running our lives. When we can do this, we are open to and available to treat ourselves and others with more compassion, kindness & love. 

Sending you lots of love to be well!

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❤️AFFIRMATION:

It’s safe for me to show kindness to myself and others.

💭 HACK:

Start by bringing awareness to and getting curious with how a lack of compassion, kindness and abundance shows up in your life toward yourself or others.

Pay attention without judgement, but questioning it. Is it true?

Get really curious with it..

Why are you feeling a lack in this area.  

Where is this thought coming from?

What other areas is this lack showing up in?

What other thoughts can you have about this lack.

What other perspectives?

What might also be true?

How is it this lack showing up in your life? 

How is it holding you back from being your best self and living your best life? 

What do you have to believe in order to not have this lack in your life?