The Power of Letting Go
It’s hard to embrace the future when we are continually holding on to the past. And it’s difficult to expand into our lives when we are not able to let go or release the things that are not serving us anymore.
We are at a monumental time in our lives as we experience this global pandemic. We have a front row seat to see things in our lives that we truly need versus things that we want and/or have become addicted to having that are no longer healthy for us.
This is a time when we are being asked to LET GO of a lot and naturally, it may be feeling like a deeper loss in our lives....
A loss of:
control
connection
sense of certainty
And when we feel this loss of control, we seek out control in other areas of our lives such as control of the people we love, control of the schedule, control of the kids, etc... It is easy to want to hold on to our picture of "normal" and the idea of how we think things should be because change causes discomfort. Change requires us to grow and work to create a new "normal". The truth is, friends, that the need to "hold on" and the behaviors we choose to keep things the same is the very thing that causes the discomfort.
Sometimes we just need to let go and release the grip on the situation to find our real peace.
By letting go of that which we have no control -- we actually strengthen our inner stability and make room for greater fulfillment. We cultivate a deeper inner TRUST.
By allowing ourselves to let go of the need to control outside circumstances, we allow the space for expansion, growth and awareness of what we do have control over...
And...what do we have control over??
Our thoughts.
Our reactions to any situation
Our own behaviors
Our choices moving forward
Letting go of this external reference point allows you to ask some internal questions...
What is most important to you in your life right now?
Who is the most important person (people) in your life?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?
How do you see yourself getting there? How do you need to think?
What things in your life no longer serve you, are outdated, and/or are not aligned to this vision?
By asking these questions you bring awareness to what you need to let go of in order to make more room for things you love as you move forward in your life. This can help ease the discomfort and give more purpose to the call to let go.
Letting go can look many different ways. It can be a let go of:
tangible items
relationships
habits
old stories about yourself or others
high bar expectations
pressure filled experiences.
Letting go is not an easy task but it's something we all need to do on a more consistent basis. As we grow, we need to let go of the things that no longer fit. To do this, the first step is to "take inventory" of your current reality.
Let's begin to take inventory and make sure the things in your life are things you loveand use so you can start to let go of things that don’t serve you.
1. Inventory of your thoughts/mind:
The act of letting go is a way of managing your mind. It is a way of looking at the contents in your mind and the thoughts that make up your stories on a daily basis. It is up to you to determine what thoughts, ideas, and conclusions are necessary to support you and what thoughts or perceptions about yourself/others you can let go of in order to free up space for growth!
What stories, thoughts, & pressure filled expectations keep you on a repetitive pattern of stagnation? What perceptions from the past are no longer serving you in your maturity? What new stories, thoughts and supportive expectations can you cultivate to benefit your growth?
2. Inventory of your physical space:
What lingers in your closets, garage, bedroom, cabinet, pantry, or car?? What "stuff" is taking up space that you no longer need or use? (Check out Marie Kondo's book link below! She is a master of letting go and organizing homes/businesses!!)
3. Inventory of your relationships & experiences:
A lot of the times we hold onto something or someone because we had a positive (or negative and want it to be better) relationship with them in the past. We believe if we don’t maintain the relationship then we are invalidating the experience we had or giving up the chance to create more. However, this causes us to forever be engaged with the past or the future and prevents us from entering the NOW. It is important to ask questions of ourselves with a mature knowing of what is needed to support us in our lives, NOW. You can always ask, "For the purpose of..."
As you begin to take inventory of the people, places, and experiences you can ask....
What is the purpose of this _______?
Would I invite this person to my home now? For the purpose of?
Would I go that gym I still belong to now? For the purpose of?
Would I call this contact I still have in my phone today? For the purpose of?....
This requires you to be REAL with yourself and align your choices to the life, the person, and the behaviors you are growing NOW.
Activity: Let's Begin Letting Go
1.Take an inventory of the physical items you currently have (become aware):
What do I have in my cabinets, bathroom drawers, office, kitchen, home...?
Pick a room/area and focus on the "stuff" there.
2. Choose a few items and ask, what is its purpose? Can I let it go?
You can also ask: Would I buy this again? Do I love this? Is it serving me in my current intention?
Is it outdated?
3. Let yourself--- let go.
Choose an item or a few items and when you answer YES to the question, "Can I let it go?"--simply release it. You can throw it away, donate it, or give it to someone else but allow for the item(s) to leave your home. You may feel a loss especially if the item is tied to a memory of a person or experience. When you let go of that thing that reminds you of a loved one--allow for the release to be of the need and not the person. Our loved ones stay with us in our hearts and memories...the "stuff" does not hold that.
4. Once you have said good bye to those things-- feel the open space and breathe it in.
Commit to the good-bye and don’t look back. We want a full release! Make the decision clearly. Allow an ending to be what it is. Choose not to regret. You have created space for the NOW. Simply allow.