Loving & Living with Compassion
Today, it National Happiness Day...and although it feels like a strange time to celebrate our happiness on a national scale- it may be just the medicine we need. Of course, we want to stay conscious to our current reality and do our part to be in service and that can mean being accountable for the energy you put our there. We can practice finding compassion in times of heartbreak. This simple practice can help us find the happiness and that is something to celebrate.
Right now, we are being asked to make important decisions, sacrifices, and self distance ourselves from many people we love. This can be so difficult on many levels and it can bring up anxiety and/or stress around so many unknowns.
Self-compassion boosts the immune system, it reduces anxiety, and it’s the easiest way to keep our hearts open to others. So right now, self compassion can be very important to incorporate into our lives as a way of self care.
It is a common and healthy response to the coronavirus for fear to show up. It is also important that we provide awareness around how that fear is playing a role in our everyday lives and be responsible in how that fear can spread as well. We want to respond in ways that are less reactive and more beneficial for ourselves and others.
Self compassion is the ability to turn understanding, acceptance, and love inward. It is the antidote to the spread of fear and hopelessness.
Practicing compassion can really help if you are noticing high levels of anxiety, especially as we practice social distancing and more time home alone and with our kids.
So, what does this practice look like?....
1. Mindfulness - as we mentioned in the last sanity & self care challenge, practice being the watcher of your thoughts and how you are feeling. We are noticing the thoughts and feelings without judgment.
{Are you feeling anxious, disheartened, confused? Where do you notice it in your body? Can you validate for yourself how you think and or feel in a kind and understanding manner?
For example…”yes, this is hard.” “This is difficult” “This is really stressful” Now offer yourself a little space around your feelings, knowing that it’s part of the current situation we are all in.
As you continue being the watcher of your thoughts and feelings, pay attention to what you are consuming online and over the media outlets in our current state. Bringing awareness to how you are feeling and how it is showing up in your reality. Be sure to create space for different types of consumption to allow for your mind to expand rather than fixate on any one feeling.)
2. Common Humanity - when you hear others struggling with different emotions and reactions to the impacts of coronavirus, can you allow for this time to recognize we are all in this together, rather than feeling separate. Recognizing that we all process emotions and thoughts in different ways. Or when you reflect on your own distress, remind yourself “Others feel as I do - I am not alone.” This is a human experience we are all feeling and dealing with right now. This is a compassionate self-talk voice.
3. Kindness - What words or actions do you need to hear to comfort or reassure yourself about the virus right now? Are they realistic? Can you talk to yourself in a warm and compassionate voice letting yourself know you are ok, you are loved, you are there for yourself? Can you encourage yourself to take action in a supportive manner for yourself and others? {This type of self-talk will help you be able to hear what step to take next and stay in the reality as a conscious listener.)
4. Positive Action - Are their self care activities you can engage in to bring some extra compassion to yourself each day? Taking extra time to be still with yourself, reading a book that has been on your “wait list” forever? Enjoying an evening tea outside, rather than in front of the TV. This can also be an opportunity to step out of your usual routine and think about how you want to navigate through it all. In 4-6 months from now, how do you want to look back at this? What kind of environment and world do you want to create as you navigate through these moments? What can you do today that will give value on a small scale to this entire situation? (The steps you take today create our tomorrow and we can take positive proactive steps right now.)
Let's spread compassion on a global level!
Being Compassionate to the Self
Action Step: Write a love letter to yourself
1. Sit in a quiet place with your favorite tea/coffee, a piece of paper, and a pencil
2. Take in a few deep breaths and close your eyes
3. Allow yourself to visualize you & your life as though you are thinking about a dear friend
4. Simply allow your thoughts without judgement...(be the listener)
5. Remember a time when you were content, happy, and feeling at peace in your own skin
6. See that friend (YOU) in your mind's eye and let any feelings come through your entire body with gratitude for this life adventure; this time together.
7. Open your eyes and when you are ready, write a letter to yourself about how grateful you were/are for that moment and how happy you are for this friend (YOU)...especially during this time of so many unknowns. Remember to tell her how proud you are of her and who she has become.
Write until you feel complete and put it in a safe place to read anytime you need a friend.